I recently shared a live video on my Facebook about the truths of being a mom —but I’ve thought more about it and realized that I wanted to expand on it a bit more. The rollercoaster of motherhood seems to go at such a rapid pace that sometimes it feels overwhelming. Especially with social media, there is more pressure than ever to be a “perfect mom.”
The truth is, there is absolutely no such thing as perfect — each of us make mistakes and are learning as we go. Some moms find parenting easier at one stage or another, and some moms are more vocal about their struggles than others. But what I’ve learned is that there is no one way to be a good mother, instead a million different paths that all eventually get us to the same place. Here are 5 mom truths that I try my best to practice each day.
Mom Truth #1: Learn to Accept Failure
You know that old adage “you win some, you lose some”? Well it’s true. The greatest thing we can teach our kids is that failure is an inevitable and necessary part of life. Lord knows I’ve made lots of mistakes, especially as a mom. That’s because being a mom is hard, and while sometimes it does get easier, there are so many difficult moments and milestones that we have to go through — sending your babies off to school for the first time, watching them get hurt (physically or emotionally), or seeing them start to mature and push away from you. In the millions of choices that mom’s make, we are bound to screw up from time to time. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and accept that we don’t always make the right decision.
Also know that the best thing you can teach your kids is that mistakes will happen, but what matters is how you pick yourself up and dust yourself off. If you model that failure isn’t the end of the world, your kids will be able to brush off their problems without such a hard time.
Mom Truth #2: Be Present
Don’t you ever wish you could just freeze a moment in time? There are so many days I wish I could just slow down or rewind time and save these moments with my daughter. They don’t last forever, so I always try to put my phone away and be in the present moment.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment — our phones are constantly buzzing and it’s all too tempting to respond to that Facebook notification or text message. But the greatest gift we can give our kids is our undivided attention. It doesn’t have to be every day, and I’m not perfect at doing this all the time either. But I promise, you’ll never regret the moments you are present with your kids.
Mom Truth #3: Don’t Sweat It
There is no such thing as the perfect Pinterest mom. We are all just trying our best, but chasing this idea of being the perfect mom is an endless battle that I know I can’t win myself. We don’t all have time to make our kids healthy lunches every day, remember every piece of homework or form that is due, or come up with fun arts and crafts projects every weekend. And you know what? There is no shame in that.
If you ask me, we can’t sweat the small stuff.
Don’t have dinner made every night?
Don’t sweat it.
Forgot to wash your kid’s soccer uniform?
Don’t sweat that either.
While it might feel like you’ll feel more accomplished if you “do it all”, all kids really need is our love (and sometimes a bath). Don’t let yourself get wrapped up in trying to be perfect, because it’s an endless pursuit. Just be you and that is more than good enough.
Mom Truth #4: Take Time for Self Care
Moms need love too!! I KNOW I’m a better mom when I’ve had some time to myself — whether that’s 30 minutes of quiet time by myself or a girl’s weekend away. Trying to be a good mom is way too difficult if you’re trying to pour from an empty cup. There is no shame in needing to take time away — as mom’s, for some reason it’s deemed unacceptable to do something for ourselves. If you feel that pressure too, try to let it go. Time away means that you will be able to come back refreshed, refocused, and renewed.
Mom Truth #5: No Mom Shaming
Just like it’s important to be more forgiving with yourself, we have to do the same with fellow mom’s. Being a parent is hard enough, and knowing that other people are judging the way you parent your kid adds another layer of difficult and unnecessary.
I’m sure at one time or another we’ve all been guilty of this — ever been in public and seen a mom with her kid who’s obnoxiously crying / running around everywhere and thought to yourself “OMG I would totally never let my kid get away with that.” Maybe you even had those thoughts before you became a parent.
But moms should know how hard the struggle is sometimes to be a parent.
Instead, it’s important that we support each other through all of the ups and downs because were are all one and the same. Be that mom that builds other moms up rather than judges them for how you believe you could have done it better. Speaking from experience, I can think of lot of situations where I know I could’ve parented better… but I don’t need another mom to tell me that!
All in all, it’s important to do the best you can and not let stress, worry, or shame get in the way of that. Whether women share it or not, being a mom is super tough, so don’t be so hard on yourself.
p.s. would love for you to check out that video! (comment below and I will get that to you XO)