Being a more confident woman goes beyond believing you look good in a bikini — to me, it’s all about learning to trust in yourself, to be confident and sure of the decisions you make, and to be 100% able to speak up for yourself when needed.
We all want more out of life — to be more fit, make more money, and spend more time with the people we love. But all of that starts with you, and the more you learn to build your confidence and trust in yourself, the more you will get out of every aspect of your life.
Here are 3 things you can do to be more confident starting right now.
1. Trust Your Instincts & Be Less Indecisive
We’ve all been there — in some type of situation where you get this gut/intuition/“off” feeling and you know you just don’t feel right. Whatever you want to call it, listen to it! Our intuition exists in all of us, but it’s up to you to decide whether you will listen to it or not.
But what if you’re not sure how to tap into it or if you struggle from being super indecisive? Even if you have trouble making small decisions, like what to order from a menu or what to wear in the morning, these are small things that signal you may not be confident in your ability to make a decision. This also relates to big choices, like buying a house, changing your career, or deciding whether to get married.
Big or small, no one can make these decisions for you, so when you get these feelings of unsureness, learn to tune in to your gut. There’s lots of research that shows that our gut is filled with million of neurons that relate to our emotion and intuition — crazy right!?
Well, that’s why you may experience feelings of sickness when you’re not listening to your intuition. Don’t necessarily trust your gut feelings solely, but instead learn to find that balance between trusting yourself and using your brain.
Just living will require that you take risks, so don’t try to overthink or overanalyze every situation. Only you know what’s best for you, and when you trust your gut and know how to follow your intuition, you will learn to be less indecisive, which is an important aspect to building confidence.
2. Set Achievable Goals
Going back to what I said in the intro, we all want more. And so because of that, we end up reaching for the stars with our goals, and trying to aim as high as possible within a short amount of time.
This is not to say you shouldn’t reach for the stars, but those ultimate, bucket list goals are meant to be achieved over a lifetime and not in the next 6 months. So, set reasonable goals, and ones that you know you will be able to achieve. I recommend starting small, and choosing a few goals that you can achieve almost immediately. By doing this, you are building your confidence and showing yourself that you can set goals and achieve them. Slowly, you can add bigger goals to the list.
Another tip is to break down your large goal into several smaller ones. Let’s say your goal is to save X amount of money by the time you retire. Without breaking it down into steps, it’s a pretty elusive goal with no real steps on how to get there. Instead, work on saving $50 per week, and make it your goal to set that money aside for 6 months. Once you’ve achieved that, think of another small thing you can do to save more money (eat out less, make your coffee at home, etc). All of these small goals still work toward your ultimate one, and once you’ve accomplished the smaller tasks, you will be one step closer to achieving that big one.
Most importantly, along the way you will build you confidence in knowing that you are more than capable of achieving your dreams.
3. Give Yourself Grace
This one is important. No one is perfect, and each of us have different strengths. Don’t let other people’s strengths make you question your own worth — we are all worthy.
We all set such high standards for ourselves that it can be difficult to cope with failure. But, as we teach our children, failure is a necessary aspect of life, and one of the only things that are certain. Going through change, having a bad day, forgetting to do something, making a mistake, letting our temper get the best of us, doing something difficult… these are all human experiences. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect and definitely don’t expect that you’re going to get it right every time.
Especially with social media, it can be hard to give yourself grace when you see everyone’s “perfect” life. But the reality is that everyone is showing off their best self and hiding their inner struggles. We all have days where we feel ugly or sad or like a failure. Let go of your need to be perfect. Give yourself grace to know that you will be okay, and that maybe today you just need to rest.
Giving yourself grace can look like turning off your phone and tuning out, going for a walk by yourself, or taking some time to do something just for you. Being confident in yourself means being okay with spending time to look inward and to sit with yourself to tune into what your body is trying to tell you.