We all want to be more satisfied, relaxed, and fulfilled individuals, but just how do we go about doing that? The women I look up to most are the women who are sure of themselves, who trust and believe in their decisions, and who don’t let fear prevent them from taking a risk.
But we all grapple with self-doubt in one way or another, as it relates to feelings of uncertainty or lack of assuredness when it comes to yourself and your decisions. It’s the “but” and what ifs” that are holding you back. Living a life filled with self-doubt will certainly hinder you in life and make things harder than they should be. And hey, a little bit of self-doubt is okay — it helps you recognize your limitations and where your strengths are.
But most of us could use a little push towards being more self-assured. It takes guts to live your life this way, but it’s worth it. When you step away from fear and into being more confident, you are giving yourself space to take your life to the next level.
Here are my 5 tips for eliminating self-doubt:
1. Become More Self Aware
Leaning into yourself and becoming more aware of what triggers your feelings of self-doubt is a vital tool for becoming more confident. When you find yourself questioning something you’ve said or done, take a note of it.
By understanding the root causes of where your self-doubt comes from, you can learn to work on those areas and what provokes it. If your self-doubt arises around making managerial decisions at work, trying to network with colleagues, or even parenting, figure out how you can work on whatever it may be. If it’s a skill you may be lacking, commit yourself to working on it. Research and educate yourself to get the learning you need in order to become more assured in your actions.
2. Push Through Doubt
Feeling full of doubt? Push ahead anyways. Not sure if you should do x, y, or z? Just go for it. When you try any and all things and don’t let your fear of failure or doubt get in the way, you’re tricking yourself into becoming more confident.
It’s hard to thrust yourself into the unknown and to not hold yourself back. I mean, things are sometimes scary when you’re trying to carve out uncharted territory. But, it’s so worth it. Have the guts to push ahead even when you don’t want to.
3. Say Stop!
Do you know how to stop yourself from having self-doubt? Literally don’t allow your mind to go there. Instead, when those little insecurities and fears start to pop up, just say out loud (or in your head) STOP.
We’ve all been victim to this at some point or another — allowing something as small as a social blunder or mistake start to grow and feed in your mind, until, all of a sudden, it’s the only thing you can think about and you feel extreme stress and anxiety over it. Then, you’re focusing on this one small thing, slowly becoming less and less self-assured. This isn’t healthy, and the best way to combat it is to just disrupt the thought as soon as it comes to mind.
4. Don’t Compare
As Teddy Roosevelt famously said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And I’ve found that to be totally true. Comparing yourself to what your friends are doing or what people are doing on Instagram won’t give you confidence.
It may seem that people are achieving more than you or are farther along in their journey, but even if that were to be true, there are so many different variables that go into that. We don’t know what other people are struggling with on the inside, and you may be strung up on comparing yourself to someone who deals with more than you’d ever know. The grass is rarely greener on the other side, so focus on watering your own grass first.
5. Remember People Aren’t Focused on You
How much time do you spend worrying and stressing over something you said to someone or something embarrassing you did? But how often do you spend dwelling on something someone else has said or done? Probably little to no time — so remember that if you’re not caught up on something embarrassing that someone else has done, no one else is fretting about your blunders either.
From kids to jobs, we all lead such full and busy lives that it would be crazy to constantly worry about what someone else has done or said. So, don’t let the fear of what others think keep you worrying — everyone is focused on their own life.
Train yourself to be brave, and to constantly push beyond your fears of failure and self-doubt. You will be a much happier and assured person for it.